Remember that changes in child-rearing are usually based on the most current research on child health and safety. If you want to get up to speed quickly, taking a grandparenting class before your first grandchild arrives can be a great way to do so. Not only do classes help to inform you about best practices, they also demonstrate to your kids that you take your new role seriously. Check with your local hospital about grandparent classes.
If they don't offer them, they may be able to refer you to a local class. As your grandchildren get older, respect food restrictions, bedtimes, and your kids' rules in general. If you're having a sleepover, and you want to bend something like bedtime rules, be sure to communicate your thoughts with your child.
Making sure everyone is on the same page can help you avoid unnecessary conflict or hurt feelings. When the generations clash, it may be temping to say, "I didn't bring you up that way! Adults make their own decisions, and sometimes they change their minds about something they were taught as children.
Chances are, you probably did, too. So try not to take it personally if your children or grandchildren choose a different religion, hold differing political views , or parenting philosophies. Being a parent is a hard job, and grown children deserve support as they endeavor to do their best. New parents are especially vulnerable to any suggestion that they should have done something differently. Even if you disagree with some of your children's parenting rules, keep in mind that a grandparent's role is to support the family culture that your child is working to establish.
Flippant remarks or humorous quips may cut a vulnerable parent to the quick. Comparisons can also be really hurtful so avoid comparing your grandchild's performance or development to another child's. A grandparent's right to spoil grandchildren is firmly ensconced in our culture, but reasonable grandparents know that there are limits. Say no when your grandchild asks for something that their parents don't allow, whether it's a sweet treat or an extra hour of television. And, of course, say no when the grandchildren ask for something that could harm their health or safety.
When it comes to purchasing an expensive gift, it's wise to check in with your child. Even though "no" is sometimes the right answer, there will be plenty of times for grandparents to say yes! Get expert tips to help your kids stay healthy and happy. The power of play: A pediatric role in enhancing development in young children. When with grandchildren, be present not preoccupied or plugged in. Genuinely listen, respond, react to the unique piece of you in your presence.
When apart, ensure grandkids know how to reach you by phone, email, regular mail, and social networks as appropriate. Additional grandmothers and others — and parents, of course — loom large in the lives of beloved grands. Sometimes more often, more prominently, more locally than you.
Grandchildren need networks of important, impactful adults in their lives. Allow space for such, sans groans or grudges. Or you might be retired, planning to travel and looking forward to time to yourself. Your health, commitments and partner are all important considerations too. Balancing your needs with those of your extended family can be a challenge, especially if you have grandchildren in more than one family. But no-one benefits if you try to do too much.
Even if you really want to be involved, at these times you might need to back off a little bit. Maybe because I was caught up in the daily to-dos.
And in trying to make everything "perfect" which I realize now is not what is most important. Whatever it is, I am present, I am in it. And I don't want to miss a single thing. Their hugs, snuggles and smiles melt my heart every time. The way they light up when they see me is truly the best medicine.
I could be having the worst day, and those little faces are able to turn it right around. We recently took a trip to Disney , the most magical place on Earth—and just like that, a place I had been many times before, was new again. I love experiencing the world through their eyes. I didn't need to see the shows, rides or characters. I found myself watching their faces fill with excitement.
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